1. "On Waiting"

if you haven't read my introduction to this series please check it out here!

I  like to think of reading Cold Tangerines as a sort of journey, a quest to find a deeper part of myself. That is really why I wanted to read the book- I knew it would challenge me to be more content and take full advantage of the life God has given me.  The first sentence of the book story really stopped me in my tracks. It says, "I have always essentially, been waiting". To some, this sentence may not be profound in any way, but the second I read it I knew this was the perfect place to start my journey. Here's why...

I have a sign in my room that says "Chase your dreams". One night, about two years ago,  I just looked at it and got sort of angry at myself. I had hung it on the wall as a cute little decoration that I found at a thrift store. But I had not been paying attention to the message at all! At the time, I was waking up at 6:45 each morning, scrambling to get out the door, going to school for eight hours, and then coming home and doing homework for three or four more hours. I was mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted and as I said before, I was angry. Angry that I had no time to spend on the things that make me happy. I was angry that I had so much creativity and passion building up inside of me all day, everyday and I didn't know what to do with it! I had so many things that I wanted to pursue- photography, fashion, interior design, writing, baking, reading, dancing, and on and on! I felt so stuck because I never had time for anything! I had meltdowns every other night it felt like because I was so stressed out and upset. In a time where everyone around me was devoted to something, I felt like I had nothing. 

So as I sat there, on my bed that night, staring at the sign, I decided that something needed to change. I was going into high school soon and I was not going to let one more second of my time be wasted or taken for granted. That was the night I decided to start my blog. 

I knew that a lot of my interests were not things that I could directly do (like interior design) but I could still explore them through my blog! Z E S T. became a way for me to roll up all of the things that I love into a neat little ball and throw it out into the world bits at a time, with every post that I published.

So having said all that, I just want to say thank. you. Shauna. for reminding me once again what I vowed to myself that night- not to take my life for granted. To stop waiting for change to come and make it happen! I will try to remind myself on a daily basis not to waste away the amazing gift that God has given me. Life.
with love,

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